Precious Moments: Jesus is the Light
It is with great sadness I am publishing this post.
Monday afternoon March 23, at 17 weeks along, my water broke. After being rushed to the ER, to our Baby Dr and back to the Hospital to be admitted, we learned that with my water breaking, the baby had lost all of the amniotic fluid the baby needs to be in to develop. Also, the risk of infection was very high for me with the cervix having a opening and that meant infections were going right to my bloodstream and I had a high risk of developing septic shock which can be fatal.
With labour induced, I delivered a little girl – Nichole Noelle who is 5 ounces and 7 inches long. Although Nikki had a heartbeat, her lungs and organs were not developed enough to survive. At 17 weeks, she was way to small even for the medical equipment to keep her alive and to let her grow. (Most premie medical equipment is for babies 24 weeks and larger)
We held Nikki for a long while, cried, told her how much we loved her, and said our goodbyes. This perfect little baby girl we had come so much to love – Nichole Noelle – was going to heaven to live.
The hospital took pictures of Nikki in her little sundress with her blanket. We will be receiving those at the end of the week. Her little sundress looks like it fits on a baby doll it is so tiny. Along with her sundress and blanket, the hospital gave us a gift basket with Nikki’s hat, certificate with her hand and footprints and a few other items for us to have and cherish.
A local Mortuary – Freeman Mortuary in Jefferson City – has donated their services for babies such as this who do not survive. They will be cremating Nikki and returning her ashes to us.
We purchased a very special Precious Moments Porcelain Figurine to keep her ashes in. Jesus is the Light. Godspeed Nikki, We love you!
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Erica, my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry to hear this. You know that your friends down in Alabama love you and will continue to pray for you during this time. You know you can call on us if you need us.
I love you, girl.
I lost my 8 year old daughter, Kate, last summer to post-viral myocarditis. There is nothing in the world as precious as the gift of children and nothing hurts so much as having to let go of them. My thoughts are with you.
Erica, You have no idea how sad this makes me. It took us 23 months to get pregnant, and I had an early miscarriage along the way. I am terribly sorry to read about this! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Erica – I am so very sorry to hear about this. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family at this most difficult time.
My heart is really breaking for you and your family…whether you hold them 1 minute or 8 yrs, they are in your heart and mind always…I thank God everyday for the 4 I have, and pray he protects them from harm…we really never know how long we will be able to hold them. Find strength in your Faith…my family has you and your family in our prayers.
Thank you all. I am still having a very hard time dealing with this. It makes it easier knowing I have friends who understand and are keeping us in their prayers. I really appreciate each and every one of you. Bless you for your good thoughts and prayers. It helps me be stronger little by little.
Erica
oh erica.. I am sorry to hear that. All we can do is love as much as we can while we are here. Like little Nichole, we are here for a short time.
Erica – I can’t even imagine what you must be going through. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you also Rob and Susanne. Right now, Time seems to be the best healer. I keep waking up every morning and thinking it was a bad dream and that she is still alive in me kicking. It takes a bit to remember she is now in heaven, but I know she is at peace and will be growing up and healthy there. I will never forget her and ill always love her!
I am sorry to hear this Erica and I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Thanks Ava
She is growing up in a beautiful place with her grannies watching her.
Erica,
Daniel and I are both so sorry to hear of your loss. If you ever need to talk we are here for you and we are praying for you and your family. We have considered trying to have a baby and have had no luck. I cannot fully understand what you are going through right now but I do understand the longing for a child. God will help you through this and always remember at your darkest hour he is with you and has his arms around you to comfort you as no earthly person could do. Your little angel is safe and at peace in Heaven and will be watching over you.
Erica… I’m so sorry for your loss. I know from the time I’ve spent with you in the past that you have been through your fair share of heartache. From this, I also have witnessed what a strong and courageous person you are. There is no way to comprehend the pain that comes from losing your child. Just keep in mind that little Nikki is sleeping in God’s loving arms now and that she will be well cared for! Be happy for Nikki that she didn’t have to experience the negatives this cruel world has to offer. Please contact me if there’s anything I can do for you if nothing more than to “lend an ear”. Take care and God Bless you and yours.
Thank you Melanie.. I am getting better over it, it really bothered me. You are right, she is growing up in a beautiful place with her grannies watching her.